After a year or so in therapy, my therapist recommended I start taking an antidepressant. It was Elavil, an older one that “has proven itself,” she said. “It works especially well for people like you, that have underlying low-level anxiety.”

I started crying uncontrollably. I felt like…I had failed. I was 25, and was trying and trying and trying to get better - through food, through supplements, through talk therapy, through meditation. You name it. But I obviously hadn’t gotten anywhere. At least according to my therapist.

Dealing with depression makes a person desperate for relief. Or even dealing with constant anxiety, which is what I had. While I understand the DSM-IV and most of the clinical medical industry classifies anxiety the same as depression, I think that though they are inextricably linked, they are also very different. I was happy and hopeful a good deal of the time; I could just easily spiral out of control when the anxieties built up. Often, it would take months of building up, and then I would experience three or so weeks of total meltdown.

I just thought this is the way it would always be. This was the way it always had been.

Mental States of the Past

When people say to me now how they wish they could go back to high school or college, I say no way. High school wasn’t bad for me; neither was college. I had many good times in both. But I dealt with inexplicable anger and annoyance, bouts of crying fits that could last for days, and general low self-esteem. I never was quite good enough (to myself) in my own skin.

The culprits for me? I’ll never know for sure, of course, but I can take a few wild guesses: low thyroid (probably my whole life and probably passed down from my mom), even though my blood tests always came out fine (see Julia Ross’ recommendation--on getting full thyroid panels); low self-esteem generated from a multitude of places, experiences, and genetics; lack of true spiritual connection; lack of emotional connection to those whom I was supposed to be the most connected.

I believe that emotional sensitivity, of which I was always told I had too much (I remember being hit on the arm by a few kids when that was the thing to do–don’t ask–and when I protested and showed the bruise marks, I was always told “you’re too sensitive”), leads to physical sensitivity in the long run if it doesn’t have a proper outlet.

If, along with depression, you struggle with food allergies, eating disorders, sensitive skin, or auto-immune disorders, I think it is worth taking a look at if you were considered a sensitive child. And I believe you can heal those physical sensitivities now by becoming emotionally strong, WHILE feeding yourself foods that support physical and emotional strength.

What to Do Now

Whether you believe that depression and anxiety are one in the same, or you think that just because they reside on the same street doesn’t mean they live in the same house, the cure might still be one in the same.

Here is a holistic approach to dealing with depression or anxiety based on what has worked for me:

Nutrition

Food allergies. Celiac. Too much sugar. Too little protein. All of these nutritional conditions can be linked to depression.

For most of my life, I ate a whole lot of pasta, fast food, soda, and a few wilted, usually canned, veggies here and there. We truly are what we eat, and if you don’t eat the foods that feed your brain, hormones and thyroid and do eat the foods that feed bacteria, leaky gut, and keep your liver hard at work, depression can easily become a major player. Need an PhD to connect food and digestion to depression? Check out "Digestive Wellness: How to Strengthen the Immune System and Prevent Disease Through Healthy Digestion" by Elizabeth Lipski.

Whole, organic foods. Eliminating or greatly reducing wheat and other grains (yes, even “whole” ones). Lots of lost of greens, and a green supplement of some sort. Protein: eggs, hemp, nuts, yogurt, cottage cheese, beans, and small amounts of fermented soy if you are vegetarian; wild, oily fish, organic, free-range lean chicken, turkey and beef, buffalo, and other game if you are not (organ meats are great if you can stand to eat them). Veggies all colors of the rainbow, but don’t go too crazy with potatoes and other starches. Coconut. Small amounts of fruit and dark chocolate. Did I mention greens?

Supplements. I know that St. John’s Wort has been all the rage the past few years as the “natural” antidepressant. It certainly has worked for some. But I believe you can do far more with amino acid therapy (once again, see Julia Ross for her seriously life-changing book, The Diet Cure), SAM-e, or a Methionine-based (an amino acid) supplement. Me-cofactors is a brand I have used for the past couple of years, for a while daily, and now when I need a little lift.

DO NOT try any of these supplements if you are currently taking an antidepressant, and consult an MD or Naturopath that understands supplementation AND has you take certain blood tests to determine if being low in these nutrients might be the problem.

Also, have tests done for B12, anemia, and Vitamin D, all of which have been linked to depression.

Understanding your own psyche

There are many ways to figure out more about yourself, your past, and how you’ve come to the place you are. Talk and body therapies are helpful, as is energetic work. But I’m going to focus on something you can do yourself: use typing systems to help you understand your depression.

The Myers-Briggs test tends to fit more into forward-thinking companies and certain psychology programs, but none the less, Facebook seems to be taking it to a whole new audience as a current popular quiz. Based on the work of Carl Jung, M-B delineates whether you are an extrovert (E) or introvert (I), sensing (S) or intuition (N), thinking (T) or feeling (F), and judging (J) or perceiving (P). Here’s one online test.

My personal favorite is the Enneagram, but other great systems include also Astrology, Numerology, Ayurveda, and Chinese Medicine. All can be used from physical, emotional, mental and spiritual standpoints. They can help you in all facets of life, from the career to which you are inclined to understanding that you are prone toward being sensitive or depressed.

Meditation

I know this one is hard. I know it. But believe me, once you’ve felt the peace and calmness you can attain with meditation, you will realize you don’t need to take drugs to survive the rest of your life, legal or otherwise. They just do not compare.

Movement

It ups your thyroid. It helps with the production of serotonin. I know I get tired of hearing “exercise, exercise, exercise–it’ll make you feel better,” so I’m assuming you are tired of hearing it too. I figured out I hate all hearing about exercise because they’re usually referring to boring-ass stairmasters and running machines, or some crazy ex-Marine personal trainer that makes you do crunches until you pass a kidney. No thank you.

Take your kids on a walk after dinner. Hit the pool with them after you get home from work. Try out their skateboard. Whatever.

But guess what? I’ve always loved to dance. Hiking and just walking in general is all I want to do when I get some new tunes on my iPod. Being back in a place that has a summer (no offense, San Francisco) has made me fall in love all over again with being in the water and playing tennis.

Now, I understand I don’t have kids or a 9-5 job, and there are many of you out there that have one or the other, or both. But the truth is, people have plenty of time to watch the many reality shows on TV every night, even when it is light outside until 8:45pm. Take your kids on a walk after dinner. Hit the pool with them after you get home from work. Try out their skateboard. Whatever. Just find some type of movement that excites you, makes you want to do it because it is fun–NOT because it will burn calories–and sprinkle it into your week. It makes a huge difference, I promise.

Then vs. Now

I’m not 100% against antidepressants anymore. In fact, I decided during my last big trip abroad that once I returned to the United States, I would get a prescription from my doctor. The anxiety was still there even when I had “gotten away from it all.”

Somehow, this release of refusing to try antidepressants created the opposite effect: I no longer needed them. After years of work, trying different combinations, something clicked. But I do believe it takes a lot of work to no longer feel anxious or depressed the natural way. So it is perfectly fine to take antidepressants in the mean time. Just remember, you don’t have to take them the rest of your life, and you can “do the work” while on medication.

I promise you, the work will take you so much further than you ever thought you could go.

Printer-friendly version